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It pains me to say this, it really does, but STATION by Alan Vega blows. STATION is Vega’s METAL MACHINE MUSIC, and it is sonic fingernails on a digital blackboard. I mean, look, I can accept musicians going through stylistic changes. Jerry Lee Lewis switched styles; Neil Young has been all over the board; The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, and a whole bunch of other people you can name switch and stretch their boundaries. Even Vega has done this, going from gonzo rockabilly in Suicide and his solo work to the quasi-commercial stylings of JUST A MILLION DREAMS to, well, industrial collaborations with Pan Sonic on ENDLESS.

Which brings us to STATION. STATION is basically percussion running under samples of Vega chanting, groaning, growling, and the like with an occasional keyboard or echo thrown in. There’s only one track, “Why Couldn’t It Be You,” that is under five minutes long, not that you’re really going to notice, because your teeth and every nerve in your body will be on edge long before you get around to it on Track 9. STATION, honest to God, is an endurance contest to get through. It took me three tries before I realized that if I looked at my favorite type of erotic entertainment while listening to it I could get through the whole thing from beginning to end. “Crime Street Cree” sounds like it was recorded while Vega passed a lead pipe. Sideways.

If Vega tours Japan in support STATION, maybe he’ll be greeted at the airport by kids blasting this over boom boxes at top volume. If so, I hope their ears never stop bleeding. I don’t think mine will. Avoid this at all cost and maybe Vega will come back to rockabilly. Or something. Anything. Anything but this.