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When Marsellus Wallace said he needed to send over some “pipe-hittin’ niggas” to the Zed residence… he probably meant these guys.

Jedi Mind Tricks and their extended family, Army of the Pharaohs, are ridiculously violent rappers.  Much like AofP’s first outing, THE TORTURE PAPERS, the Ritual of Battle album borders on absurdity.  Such extremism helps to remind us that there is a lot of black humor to be found amongst all the notions of skull-splittin’, pistol-fuckin’, and straight-up dismemberment that skates over these sixteen greasy tracks.  Despite the conjuring of violent situations that, honestly, any pissed off second-grader can come up with, there is an air of intelligence and self effacing that diminishes any accusations of ignorant presumption.  Think Wu-Tang Clan at their most prurient with a  dash of 2Pac’s hard-edged commentary.  But, basically think bloody assholes and furry tongues.

Well, let’s see:  Gun Ballad, Dump the Clip, Murda Murda.  That’s a sample list of song titles we’re dealing with here.  You kind of know what they are about, but you don’t know how gritty they are until you drop in on a song.  Personally, these songs feel like the hand of God has swept down and transported me into a seedy Baltimore neighborhood in the midst of a gang war;  guns blazing, people dashing and driving about, me jumping for cover into the trash cans but still getting tagged with a stray bullet in my ass cheek.  “Thanks for coming”.

The best, most thuggish song hands down is Bloody Tears, and it rips a fantastic sample from the Castlevania video game series.  It’s chorus gets a geeky/guilty pleasure rise in me every time I hear them chant, “die, motherfucker, die, motherfucker, die”.  It’s something that should have made its way into Office Space.

Jedi Mind Tricks Presents: Army of the Pharoahs/Ritual of Battle is just a blast in the face.  Put this shit on and feel hard.  Don’t forget the humor while you try to get your “crip-walk” on with a St. Ides in one hand and a fake cowboy pistol in the other.  And don’t really shoot a sucker in the face.  Totally not kosher.

*Special note to Jedi Mind Tricks die-hards:  Jus Allah, estranged original member, makes his return on this album with a whole new style sure to piss-off and please at the same time.  Yeah, it’s a vague statement, but then again so is my memory of Jus Allah.