Music reviews. CD reviews. Critically hip!

Ok, I'm going to keep this short, which happens to make sense to me.   I'm 23.  Earth, Wind & Fire(EWF) is 38 years strong.  A majority of their best body-movin' stuff came out before I was born.   As a matter of fact, if I had to put money on it, my twin brother and I were probably conceived during an evening filled with the pungent mist of Aquanet, the bristling of body hair, and the smooth sounds of EWF's "Be Ever Wonderful"; which is included in this fine collection.   The point is:  I cannot provide proper context for this album's history of romantic EWF singles, and it would be insulting to a multitude of age groups for me to write presumptuously about the band therein.   The other point is… in retrospect, I should never have mentioned my conception and should never do so again.

With that being said, all I'm going to do is tell you that this album is for really cheesy people that have lots of cheesy sex.   This is not a bad thing for me personally as I am a cheesy individual that really enjoys cheesy music from time to time.  That being said, the statement just mentioned is more precautionary in nature than anything else.   If you are an Elliot Smith kind of love song person… stay far from this baby-making music!  Phillip Bailey and the boys of EWF were put on this planet for one reason and that reason was to melt lovers—or easily transition that awkward conversation at the club into a night of erogenous plumbing.   When was the last time Backstreet Boys or Simpleplan made erogenous plumbing a reality for you?  Well, if you have, or claim to have had Backstreet Boys or Simpleplan make that work for you, you were obviously packing some Rohypnol.   Only EWF can make that leap of faith happen.

Anyways, who goes out and buys an Earth, Wind & Fire collection of ballads if they aren't at least thirty-something and/or feeling really nostalgic for some astrological ass-shaking performed many years prior to this release?   It's a moot point.  Unless, you caught the "Earth, Wind & Fire: On Ice" performance on TV last year and felt enamored by it, there is no reason that hasn't been latent for the past 20 years to check out this album.   I give it a damn good score because it makes a lot of people really, really happy.  And because they are, afterall, kick-ass… just in a cheesy sort of way.