Music reviews. CD reviews. Critically hip!

A tone-deaf version of The Calling meets a less talented Matchbox 20. This is what comes to mind when I listen to 34 Satellite's album "Stop". This album was incredibly bland and boring. It lacked feeling and well, to put it bluntly, talent. The music itself was rather good until the singing started. The songs…sucked. I don't know any other honest way to put it and some of the tracks were just downright disturbing. This was a very poor attempt for an album and would be brushed off if it was a debut but this comes from a band that has been around and done this before.

Tracks like "Charleston", "Getting High With a Stranger", and "Nineteen" are good examples of what happens when good music meets bad lyrics and vocals. The music was great. It was fast paced, beat thumping, adrenaline rushing and just all around kick ass music. Then in comes the singing with its nonsensical lyrics and tone-deaf melodies. It's almost sickening. The music slaughtered and we can't do anything but sit there and listen to it happen. It was just so very sad.

Then you move on to other tracks that just throw you for a complete loop and leave you wondering, "what the hell did I just listen to? No really, what was that?" A few of these tracks would be "Get Out Alive", "Rocks Stars Plastic Cars and "Smoke From a Funeral". Being creative is one thing but just losing your mind on a song is another and I can't find any other explanation for why these songs sound the way they do. They make no sense what so ever. I found myself becoming angry and nauseous all at the same time. I didn't whether to punch my stereo or vomit.

I can't be at your house to slap some sense into if you choose to listen to this album anyway. All I can do is warn you of the danger you face when you pop this CD in your stereo. It's too late for me but please, please save yourselves. Don't fall victim like I have. And to 34 Satellite, what the hell were you thinking?! The strong point is the music and the weak points are everything else. All I can say is to work on it and maybe next time you can bring something better to the listeners. Readers, you have been warned.