Music reviews. CD reviews. Critically hip!

12 years ago I took my ungrateful sons and a gaggle of their snot nosed friends to their first concert. It was out of town, in Dayton, Ohio, and featured Great White and Bullet Boys and another band, can't remember who, but what I do remember is that all of the bands were doing their very best Van Halen imitations, right down to the Roth & Eddie interactions, even going so far as to match the hair colors up just right. I was surprised at the time, at least until I remembered that the Roth-fronted Van Halen was so over by then that most of the youngish audience wouldn't even remember them.

I had occasion to recall that concert, and those thoughts, when I tore the cello and slid BEAUTIFUL CREATURES into the CD player. From the opening bars of "1 A.M." I was put in the mind of someone, and then it hit me. Dangerous Toys and Skid Row are making a posthumous comeback as an influence. I mean, they peaked in the early 90s; the kids of their audience are just finding the radio dial. This is like new music to them, and it brings back old feelings for me. And that isn't all bad, believe me.

BEAUTIFUL CREATURES is plain old metal, metal the way it used to be, loud guitars played by faintly alienated kids with a small chip on their collective shoulders. But they're not gonna cut your throat. If you take your kids to a Beautiful Creatures concert, you won't have to worry about their lead singer (who bears a faint resemblance to Stephen Tyler by way of John Kay) screaming "Bring me the head of a yuppie!" and having everyone turn and look at you. Nope, lots of energy, lots of loud guitars, and plenty of solos that don't really go anywhere but don't sound bad at all. The songs? 12 (okay, maybe nine or 10) arena rock anthems. These include the Tesla-influenced "Time and Time Again" and "Wish," both obligatory heavy metal power ballads, as well as Kickin' For Days," and "Wasted" (is this song from a book by George R. R. Martin, where a metal band sells its soul to the devil?), killer rockers that oughta have everyone in the joint (even you) pumping their right fists in the air. "Kick Cut" and "I Got It All" sound like AC/DC outtakes, right down to the bare-knuckled, ham-fisted power chords and the ragged, beer-soaked vocals.

The band's main weakness right now is that their reach exceeds their grasp at least once on every track, though usually in a minor way. At least they're trying, though, Conversely, there are usually three or four flashes of brilliance on nearly every track as well. While I don't hear anything that will necessarily be played 15 years from now, there's absolutely nothing wretched on BEAUTIFUL CREATURES, either. And I'm not damning them with faint praise, either. I'm sitting here, God help me, singing along with "Goin' Off," one of those 3 a.m., just-busted-up- with-my- hootchie numbers that are vicariously liberating. I hope these guys stick around, and that their record company sticks with them, for a long time. I think they're just getting warmed up.