Music reviews. CD reviews. Critically hip!

The Norbit soundtrack is comprised of ten songs by ten very disparate artists and six original compositions tailored strictly to the feature film by David Newman.  Don’t worry about those original compositions; I didn’t.  Being attracted by the wide breadth of popular artists contributing to the album I was expecting an interesting mix that could withstand the one-time listening syndrome of mine.  In general, my expectations were set too high and the lack of original quality spanning the contributed and scored music was deeply regrettable.  I should be put down for idiocy, seeing as how it was a soundtrack based off of a movie with Eddie Murphy doing something truly original:  playing a fat black woman.  I have pangs of shame for forgetting the other “unforgettables” in this genre- The Nutty Professor, Big Momma’s House, Tyler Perry’s Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea’s Family Reunion, Madea’s Class Reunion, and (who could forget) Madea Goes to Jail.  Yeah, I was obviously asleep at the wheel thinking the soundtrack to Norbit could be anymore original than the concept.

So it has some classic tracks.  There’s a little Dusty Springfield here and some Fairfield Four there, but a lot of stereotypical junk in between.  Kelis’ “Milkshake” is on the soundtrack damaging eardrums even further than they’ve been damaged by the over exposure of this song.  I refused to see the movie and I’m hoping, for the sake of the movie-makers’ pride, that this “Milkshake” song by fluke ended up on the soundtrack and didn’t appear at all in the movie.  My god, if it did, you wouldn’t even have to see Norbit.   Why?  We all understand already how cliché this musical augmentation to the sight gag of a big, fat woman is (see Date Movie).  And it ain’t that funny.

“Milkshake” is just one example of blandness on the soundtrack.  You got the spelling-challenged Yung Joc’s “It’s Goin’ Down” and “Walk it Out” by Unk, to boot.  Yung Joc is alright if you’re cruising the boulevard in your “rice rocket,” but who the fuck is Unk!?  Moving on...

The most surprising track to find on this album is “Sweet Honey” by Slightly Stoopid.  Slightly Stoopid, a rasta/rock band that has enjoyed a strong cult following, intrigues me.  How the hell did they end up on this soundtrack?  Probably the way most the other songs did.  The music supervisor for Norbit obviously sold his soul to the devil after a game of “pog” in return for fame in creating the most shitty soundtrack of all time.  It’s not the individual songs that make it the shittiest soundtrack; it’s the combining of them all together for another foil in an Eddie Murphy fat-suit fiesta that makes it the shittiest. 

Give us back Detective Axel Foley.  Give us another 48 Hours.  Norbit is the kind of movie that attracts “waspy” people and appauls everyone else.  Think that is a gross generalization!?  Call your mother and ask her who’s seen Norbit.  Sure she has; or, those goofy friends of her’s have and thought it was pretty funny.  If she says no… then your mom’s a goddamn liar.