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I don't mean this as an insult, not
at all; it's just an observation: you've gotta be nuckin' futs
to participate in motocross racing. The participants would
probably freely acknowledge the validity of that statement;
indeed, they would probably wear it as a badge of honor. If you
haven't seen the sport, it basically consists of a bunch of guys
grimly riding dirtbikes way too fast around paths and tracks
with more curves than the Dixie Chicks, Mariah Carey and
Michelle Branch combined. There are many, many opportunities for
wipeouts, and I'm amazed that the televised programs aren't
overloaded with commercials from chiropractors and ambulance
chasers. It's exciting to watch as well, and I would imagine
that consuming a few beers during the course of the observation
of the festivities would help to enhance the enjoyment as well.
There is also something calledextreme motocross, or EMX.
This involves sitting on your
bike, revving it up, and then shooting it up a ramp and outward
and upward, and then detaching yourself from your bike on the
descent, before reuniting with it (hopefully on top of the seat,
as opposed to under the wheels) at some point prior to impact.
One chap I observed over the weekend actually completely let go
of his bike ---look ma, no hands, no feet, no bungi cord, no
hope of purchasing life insurance-- before setting himself back
in the saddle and awaiting the sacmashing impact that was surely
his when he and his hoss made their inevitable reconciliation
with terra firma. I hope that the young gentlemen who practice
this sort of athletic endeavor have all of the children they
want, because with this sort of abuse of their reproductive
equipment I fear that any of their future spawn will be wards of
the state.
Motocross, like any sport, has
its superstars, and one of them is Mad Mike Jones, who has
tapped into the natural affinity between motocross and
headbanging rock and come up with a collection titled MOTOTRAX
1. The collection consists entirely of tracks which are
unavailable elsewhere: from bands you've heard (Static-X,
Slipknot, Disturbed) to bands on the verge (Cold, Mudvayne,
Union Underground) to bands who will never get on the radio, but
are worth a listen nonetheless (Nashville Pussy).
But the question remained: would this satisfy the motocross
fans? I had no choice but to test drive it. So I shooed my
hot-looking wife and our four year old antichrist out of the
house, shoved the disc in, turned up the sound system until the
Bose cubes started rattling, and turned the sound down on ESPN.
And yeah, Mad Mike did a pretty good job.
There's a little bit of
everything on MOTOTRACKS 1, and enough to satisfy just about
everyone, though everyone won't be satisfied with all of it. The
tracks break down into roughly three categories:unreleased
tracks, live cuts, and remixes. The best stuff comes early.
Slipknot's "Sic (molt-injected remix)"from blastoff to
landing perhaps best captures the spirit of the sport which this
soundtrack commemorates. This is really no surprise; I have it
on good authority that the members of Slipknot engage in
competitions involving jumping out of second floor windows; kind
of like motocross, without the bike to land on. A close second
is "Bartender" by (hed)pe VS.
Bad Azz, a metal/hiphop which is
also the closest thing to a ballad on the CD and that sounds
like it was slipped on the CD while Mad Mike was out for coffee.
Things get back on track fairly
quickly, however, with "Terrorist (Total Destruction
Mix)" by Soulfly, a head-through-the-wall banger that will
tell you all you need to know about Motocross if you'd never
seen a moment of it, the same way that Jackyl's
"Lumberjack" could only have been about logging.
Zeke's "Kill the King"
finishes things off in fine form, compressing what would have
been a ten minute trip to the 7-Eleven by, say, Crash Test
Dummies into a two minute wild ride to catch the tailend of a
chick fight in the parking lot.
The biggest disappointment here
is Nashville Pussy's "Flirting with Disaster," a cover
of the Molly Hatchet tune that appears to have been done just
for grins and giggles. Surprisingly enough, Disturb's live
version of "Stupify" is also somewhat of a
disappointment. It starts off strong, but kind of peters out a
third of the way through and thus lacks the fire of the studio
version, though it certainly is good enough to merit a listen
nonetheless. Union Underground's live take on "Natural
High" isn't bad; it just doesn't quite fit in, sounding
more like a Widespread Panic tribute than music to get your
balls mashed to. On the whole, however, this mother works, and
works quite well. As the popularity of Motocross increases we'll
hopefully see more CDs of this sort compiled by Mad Mike and
possibly others, with material created especially for the CD.
MOTOTRACKS 1 though, for the most part, will make you forget
about all of those WWF CDs your moldy ex-girlfriend refuses to
return.
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| Artist |
Various |
| Title |
Mad Mike Jones
Presents Mototrax 1 |
| Label |
Priority/Divine
Records |
| Reviewer |
Joe Hartlaub |
| Rating |
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| win stuff |
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