Yes, that is quite an insult to someone who considers themselves to be a serious musician. And I guess it shows my age when I say that I can remember when Eric Clapton was regarded as a musician, instead of as an entertainer. And it pains me, it really does. I've been listening to Eric Clapton for four decades now, starting all the way back to the Yardbirds, for godsakes, John Mayall's Bluesbreakers (with Fleetwood and McVie), Cream, Eric Clapton and the Powerhouse, Derek and the Dominoes...he's a nice guy, he's had tragedy in his life like I never want to have, and now he's living in the same city I am, and it happens that we run in a couple of the same circles, so it may not be long before people are saying, "Hey, who's that guy with Joe Hartlaub?" But that won't change the fact that REPTILE, on balance, is a loser of Michael Dukakis magnitude.

The title track made me stop after about 30 seconds and eject the CD, thinking that maybe I'd gotten it mixed up with something on the Putumayo label, but no, it was Eric, all right, with a bossa nova or something beat, and I kept waiting for Tony Bennett or Astrid Gilberto or someone to start singing, but no, it was Eric. At least on "Reptile," it was Eric. I'm not exactly sure that he does his own leads anymore. He's got Andy Fairweather Low and this week's wonderkid, Doyle Bramhall II, playing guitars on most of the tunes on REPTILE, and since an awfully lot of the guitar work sounds phoned in anyway (with a couple of exceptions) I'd hope that, in most cases, it's not him. "Got You On My Mind," a classic swamp pop tune originally done by Cookie and the Cupcakes, follows. Clapton demonstrates that he is at least still trying by turning this into a blues tune on the order of "Have You Ever Loved a Woman" but drags defeat from the jaws of victory with a Vegas style arrangement that ultimately owes more to schlock than rock. "Travelin' Light" is the obligatory J.J. Cale tune, and yeah, it cooks in it's own low down way, just enough to get your hopes up that maybe you were right in not waiting until there were 500 copies of REPTILE in the cutout bin, right next to the new Mariah Carey CD. Hopes, however, are cruelly dashed by a string of four tunes ---- "Believe In Life," "Come Back Baby" (a ruined take on an underappreciated Ray Charles' jewel), the whiny "Broken Down," and the boring "Find Myself."

REPTILE is saved from the skeet pile, however, by a quartet of winning numbers that sound as if they were recorded after the double lattes finally arrived. "I Ain't Gonna Stand For It," one of Stevie Wonder's later tunes, has Clapton showing a little fire, which carries over to the bluesy "I Want A Little Girl," which shows Clapton in mellow but fine form. "Second Nature," with it's relaxed but vaguely sinister backbeat, is faintly reminiscent, by turns, of early (real early) Steely Dan or even John Fogerty. I approached Clapton's take on the James Taylor chestnut, "Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight," with some trepidation, especially since I was driving while listening to it and couldn't let go of the steering wheel to cover my ears. Fortunately, I didn't need to. Clapton does a fine take on this undeserved classic, deftly injecting some drama and desperation into a song heretofore lacking both. You'll forget all about Taylor's version (as if you hadn't already) after listening to Clapton's soulful, Ray Charles-influenced rendition. Unfortunately, Eric loses the big Mo with "Modern Girl," a meandering, tired tune that not only contains the couplet " don't throw your love away/ hey hey" and then repeats it ad nauseum , and not just once, but several times. Things kick back in reasonably enough on "Superman Inside" but by then, except for a sentimental instrumental, this bad boy's over.

Clapton's best days, as demonstrated by REPTILE, are behind him. There's no shame in that --- a lot of musicians would give anything to have half of the artistic success which Slowhand has. What is unfortunate is that his career may well be judged on what he's laying out now. If you're unfamiliar with the guy, pick him up at an earlier time; he's always functioned better as a first among equals, rather than as a solo artist. But if you're a longtime fan who hasn't listened to his newer stuff, REPTILE ain't the place to start.